For one day in early March 2020, I was a multimillionaire. It wasn’t even a full day. It was just during the morning, after trading stopped because of the market drop. 

I couldn’t sell the shares that’d made me a multimillionaire. I wasn’t even sure if selling was the right thing to do. It felt like a glitch, and if I’d’ve sold the shares, it seemed like I might get in trouble or have to pay back the money. 

I did eventually put in a sell order, but once trading resumed, there weren’t any buyers. As the share prices went back to normal, I watched the zeros evaporate from the end of my balance, and I started thinking. What would I have done if they money had been real? How can I incorporate what might’ve been into my life now, even if it’s only a piece at a time?

My stock answer when people ask me what I would do if I didn’t have to work is “nothing”. 

I always say that I’d do nothing, but I should clarify that by saying that I’d do nothing I didn’t want to do. My days would be full. I wouldn’t be sitting around. Instead I’d cut out the time wasters, and I’d replace them with gardening, making art, bouldering, reading, traveling, and finding ways to keep learning.

Erstwhile Millionaire is a space for me to try things out and publish the work I want to share. I want everything to be considered a rough draft, rather than a final product. The point isn’t just to make work. It’s also to develop the routine and expand the practice. It’s about trying to grow the space that creativity occupies in my life to bring everything closer to the balance I want and that I could almost taste that morning when I was briefly a multimillionaire.